Online Workshop Junkies
Mark: Alan Winner, you old bugger…
Alan: Mark Loser ! Didn’t expect to see you here!. So, how’s business then?
Mark:: Dreadful. Profits down again. You?
Alan: Sales down by 20%. And getting worse.
Mark and Alan: Cheers!
Alan: So, how was the workshop?
Mark:: Which one?
Alan: The one you did yesterday.
Mark:: Oh the one on How to Re-engineer your Inner Self in order to Gert in touch with your inner intranet.
Alan: Yes, that’s it.
Mark:: It was fascinating. I have the flowchart of my soul pinned onto the board above my PC.
Alan: Great. So what’s next on the learning agenda?
(They both take out pieces of paper and read)
Mark:: Oh, this looks very useful. “Reorganize your intranet architecture using psychodrama”. It’s delivered by the Royal Shakespeare Company in association with I.T International
Alan: A long week residential. I’m in. Oh look. “Getting beyond Yes and No – 21 Practical Techniques for using Maybe in critical communication situations.
Mark:: This looks good. ‘Presentation Skills for Single Situations. A Practical guide to giving high impact virtual sales presentations when you are alone in an online conference
Alan: Oh, that could come in handy for the online staff briefing sessions. No one ever attends those.
Mark : Highlights for Next Month. “Virtual meeting skills for People who would rather die than be in the same room as each other.”
Alan: Sounds like a winner
Mark:: Look at this one: How to Get ahead of your competitors by Hanging Back a Bit: strategies for Lurking in the bus lane of Life
Alan: Excellent. I love lurking.
Mark: Do you? Where?
Alan: er..never mind. What elese is on offer?
Mark: How about this? “The Woohoo Customer Care Experience: A intensive one week taster programme of damaging emotional build-up and release, clumsy revealing of personal information to groups of more than five hundred people, followed by embarrassing fits of weeping and group hugging. Part 1. Five hundred quid”
Alan: See, that’s the problem with face to face meetings. All that …
Both: Physical contact. Yeuch.
Mark I think I’d go for this: “Rebuild your organizational structure: An experiential metaphorical journey using play-dough and various kinds of pasta.”
Alan: Just what our failing business needs!
Mark:: Oh I don’t like the look of this one.
Alan: Which one?
Mark:: This one. “How to reduce your internet dependency – strategies for getting back to doing some real work and generating new customers.”
Alan: Oh no. I can’t imagine anyone going for that one. How long’s it on for?
Mark:: It’s a four year course, three days a week beginning Wednesday.
Alan: I’m in. Sign me up
Mark: Me too.
Mark and Alan: See you on facebook!