Online Workshop Junkies

Online Workshop Junkies


Mark: Alan Winner, you old bugger…




Alan: Mark Loser ! Didn’t expect to see you here!. So, how’s business then?




Mark:: Dreadful. Profits down again. You?




Alan: Sales down by 20%. And getting worse.




Mark and Alan: Cheers!




Alan: So, how was the workshop?




Mark:: Which one?




Alan: The one you did yesterday.




Mark:: Oh the one on How to Re-engineer your Inner Self in order to Gert in touch with your inner intranet.




Alan: Yes, that’s it.




Mark:: It was fascinating. I have the flowchart of my soul pinned onto the board above my PC.




Alan: Great. So what’s next on the learning agenda?




(They both take out pieces of paper and read)




Mark:: Oh, this looks very useful. “Reorganize your intranet architecture using psychodrama”. It’s delivered by the Royal Shakespeare Company in association with I.T International




Alan: A long week residential. I’m in. Oh look. “Getting beyond Yes and No – 21 Practical Techniques for using Maybe in critical communication situations.




Mark:: This looks good. ‘Presentation Skills for Single Situations. A Practical guide to giving high impact virtual sales presentations when you are alone in an online conference




Alan: Oh, that could come in handy for the online staff briefing sessions. No one ever attends those.




Mark : Highlights for Next Month. “Virtual meeting skills for People who would rather die than be in the same room as each other.”




Alan: Sounds like a winner




Mark:: Look at this one: How to Get ahead of your competitors by Hanging Back a Bit: strategies for Lurking in the bus lane of Life




Alan: Excellent. I love lurking.




Mark: Do you? Where?




Alan: er..never mind. What elese is on offer?




Mark: How about this? “The Woohoo Customer Care Experience: A intensive one week taster programme of damaging emotional build-up and release, clumsy revealing of personal information to groups of more than five hundred people, followed by embarrassing fits of weeping and group hugging. Part 1. Five hundred quid”




Alan: See, that’s the problem with face to face meetings. All that …




Both: Physical contact. Yeuch.




Mark  I think I’d go for this: “Rebuild your organizational structure: An experiential metaphorical journey using play-dough and various kinds of pasta.”




Alan: Just what our failing business needs!




Mark:: Oh I don’t like the look of this one.




Alan: Which one?




Mark:: This one. “How to reduce your internet dependency – strategies for getting back to doing some real work and generating new customers.”




Alan: Oh no. I can’t imagine anyone going for that one. How long’s it on for?




Mark:: It’s a four year course, three days a week beginning Wednesday.




Alan: I’m in. Sign me up




Mark: Me too.




Mark and Alan: See you on facebook!



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