Here’s an intersting trap.
Someone accuses a friend of talking behind their back.
The friend is shocked and replies: I think you are projecting your own fears onto me. I have done no such thing.”
The person conitnues to suggest that they have evidence for the person talking behind their back. It is not the first time this person has made such accusations with other “friends”. No evidence is produced.
The friend replies: “If you keep projecting onto me I will end our conversation. You are not being very nice and you are not being rational.”
A few days later the person writes their friend a letter. It contains the statement: “You really HURT me the other day when you said I wasn’t a nice person and was a bit mad.”
The friend decides to pull out of the friendship.
A few days later an angry and tearful call comes: “You really think I am a worthless person don’t you?”
The phone call is ended.
Stepping out of the trap is not always easy, but sometimes necessary. You may have to ride out the storm of protest. In the long run, it can be the best outcome. We weren’t born to trap each other.