Photocopier 1

(scene. A small photocopier room. Sounds of copying. Copier is actually offstage)

 

Stuart: People always seem to meet at photocopiers

 

Sam: Oh yes, powerful, dangerous places. Like ley lines.

 

Stuart: What do you mean?

 

Sam: Well, Bill and Sarah first met here. Married within two months…

 

Stuart: That’s great!

 

Sam:… divorced within six.

 

Stuart: Oh.

 

Sam: Terry Shore found out he was going to be made redundant here, by reading his redundancy letter that Cliff Parker had accidentally left on the copying plate.

 

Stuart: That’s rough…

 

Sam: Not as rough as his suicide a week later.

 

Stuart: Jesus.

 

Sam: Four people have died of cancer that I have met here over the last year.. There was Alice Gordon who got…

 

Stuart: Alright, alright. I get the idea.

 

Sam: And then of course there’s Suzanne Barnham’s stroke, last Wednesday…

 

Stuart: Not here as well?

 

Sam: Yep, actually she fell exactly where you are standing. She was queuing to copy a tea rota.

 

Stuart: How is she?

 

Sam: Funeral is on Thursday.

 

Stuart: Oh, my god.

 

Sam: Ah, copier’s free – you got much to do?

 

Stuart (looks at his wadge of paper and then at the photocopier)

 

Stuart: Er.. nothing that can’t wait.

 

(He turns to leave. Lights)

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