Photocopier 1

(scene. A small photocopier room. Sounds of copying. Copier is actually offstage)


Stuart: People always seem to meet at photocopiers


Sam: Oh yes, powerful, dangerous places. Like ley lines.


Stuart: What do you mean?


Sam: Well, Bill and Sarah first met here. Married within two months…


Stuart: That’s great!


Sam:… divorced within six.


Stuart: Oh.


Sam: Terry Shore found out he was going to be made redundant here, by reading his redundancy letter that Cliff Parker had accidentally left on the copying plate.


Stuart: That’s rough…


Sam: Not as rough as his suicide a week later.


Stuart: Jesus.


Sam: Four people have died of cancer that I have met here over the last year.. There was Alice Gordon who got…


Stuart: Alright, alright. I get the idea.


Sam: And then of course there’s Suzanne Barnham’s stroke, last Wednesday…


Stuart: Not here as well?


Sam: Yep, actually she fell exactly where you are standing. She was queuing to copy a tea rota.


Stuart: How is she?


Sam: Funeral is on Thursday.


Stuart: Oh, my god.


Sam: Ah, copier’s free – you got much to do?


Stuart (looks at his wadge of paper and then at the photocopier)


Stuart: Er.. nothing that can’t wait.


(He turns to leave. Lights)


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